Anthony DeMello, in The Way to Love, provides this take on the troubling passage of Matthew 7:1: “Judge not, that you be not judged.”

 [T]he finest act of love…is not an act of service but an act of contemplation, of seeing.”

DeMello notes that seeing, or perhaps better stated, seeing anew, requires effort, it requires willingness to set aside labels and preconceived notions, to consider other possibilities.  Does the perceived issue with this person arise from my own upbringing or conditioning, my faulty thinking, my unawareness, or perhaps from theirs?  Are there treasures, good qualities within this person I have not previously seen?  DeMello suggests that if we study these perceived defects clinically, objectively, we will likely see that “the origin of the defect lies in childhood experiences, past conditioning, faulty thinking and perception; and above all in unawareness, not in malice.”

Ultimately, DeMello notes that perhaps the greatest gift of all is to apply that same analysis to ourselves.

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