It occurs to me…

“How many activities can you count in your life that you engage in simply because they delight you and grip your soul?  Find them out, cultivate them, for they are your passport to freedon and to love.”  Anthony DeMello – The Way To Love

DeMello notes that we spend much, perhaps most, of our lives “people pleasing,” or  in his words, “spending every waking moment of your day placating and pleasing people, whether they are living or dead.”  We do so in how we dress, how we talk, how we act.  He challenges us to find those activities that “delight and grip your soul,” without regard to how they will be seen or judged by others.

“If you desire this love to exist in your life you must break loose from your inward dependence on people by becoming aware of it and by engaging in activities that you love to do for themselves.”

“Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.

Manifesto: The Mad Farmer Liberation Front — Wendell Berry

Berry’s exhortation is not be joyful BECAUSE I have considered all the facts.  That would be fine if I could manage it, but sometimes, okay, often, when I consider all the facts, at least the facts that readily come to mind, joy is not the natural byproduct, joy is not the emotion that wins out.  It is far outpaced by angst, trepidation, fear, and downright negativity – “the end is near” (if we’re lucky) negativity.

No, be joyful THOUGH I have considered all the facts.  It need not make sense.  After all, so little does these days – so:

“Be joyful though you have considered all the facts.”

“In spite of ourselves, we’ll end up sittin’ on a rainbow.  Against all odds, honey we’re the big door prize.”  In Spite of Ourselves – John Prine

I’ve listened to this song for several years now and had a good laugh each time.  But listening to that line yesterday, it occurred to me that while I can’t put myself in John Prine’s mind (though I’d like to have his song-writing abilities), the song is about grace.  In the context of the song, the grace is that, against all odds, two odd people find each other.

“He ain’t to sharp, but he gets things done.  Drinks his beer like its oxy-jun.”  (phonetic, to help with the forced rhyme)

“She don’t like her eggs all runny.  She thinks crossin’ her legs is funny.”

Somehow, despite the odds, and despite their differences, it works out for them.  They “end up sittin’ on a rainbow.”  Grace.  It occurs to me that life is like that.  While we may not be able to see it with our limited brainpower, with our attention myopically focused on today’s problems/worries, “in spite of ourselves, we’ll end up sittin’ on a rainbow.  Against all odds…we’re the big door prize.”

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Romans 12:2

As many times as I have read this, it occurred to me only today that there is nothing in this passage that suggests that I am the one solely responsible for the transformation.  Whew, that takes a load off!  Of course, I do have to keep an open mind, elsewise it can’t be changed.  And the problem with keeping an open mind is that people keep wanting to put stuff in it that doesn’t necessarily coincide with my existing thoughts.

Damn!  I knew there was a catch!

“The connection between human beings cannot be severed; it can be forgotten.”  Brene Brown

I heard this the other day on a podcast and it took a while to process as it sent me to reading other Brene Brown material.  Contemplating all that it occurs to me that much can get in the way between two people – ideologies, experiences, distance, pride, fear, to name a few.  However, the connection still exists because we, as humans, will always have more in common than we have differences.  However, we come to see that only through vulnerability, through meaningful interaction, or as Brown says: “Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability.”  One more:

“I think if you follow anyone home, whether they live in Houston or London, and you sit at their dinner table and talk to them about their mother who has cancer or their child who is struggling in school, and their fears about watching their lives go by, I think we’re all the same.”

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“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

It is so easy to get tied up with yesterday and tomorrow, and in the process, let today slip from consciousness.  It seems almost natural to focus on yesterday’s regrets, tomorrow’s fears, or even better, yesterday’s accomplishments and tomorrow’s expected victories.  Of course, in doing so, I let today slip away to tomorrow.  The folly of that seems so obvious, yet….

 

 

Read this today from Joan Chittister – Uncommon Gratitude:

“Conflict confronts us with the test of integrity. It requires that we review constantly the arsenal with which we face our enemy.”

When she suggests that I “review constantly the arsenal,” I suspect she means more that I “review constantly the arsenal” to assess its fairness and appropriateness than she does that I “review constantly the arsenal” to make sure that it is sufficient to accomplish the total annihilation (preferably, with some humiliation) of my enemy.  Damn it!

After the funeral service we walked across the parking lot to the Memorial Gardens for interment of the ashes;

When that service ended, folks headed to the Parish Hall to do what one does there after a funeral;

I turned to follow the group, but then had the unexplained urge to linger;

Turning back, I noticed an old friend, head bent down, looking at the stone marker for his deceased wife.

I walked over, put my arm around his heaving shoulders, squeezed hard, and lingered there with him in silence.

As we walked back to the Parish Hall in silence, I recognized that moment would be indelibly etched in my memory, and contemplated how much in life is missed by ignoring the urge to linger, by not lingering long enough (apologies to Cohen) to recognize the light shining in through the cracks.

The great songs, the really great songs, no matter how many times I listen to them, seem each time like I am listening for the first time.  So it was with Jackson Browne’s “Doors and Walls:”

“Ever since the world’s existed
There’s one thing that is certain
There are those who build walls
And those who open doors
Ah but this my love I’m thinking you already knew”

My only thought to add to that is that it occurred to me today that Jesus was one who opened doors – which is, of course, what we should all strive to do – even when, particularly when, building walls seems the easier thing to do.  The wall separates me from the other, certainly, but just as certainly separates the other from me.