It occurs to me…

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”  Romans 12:2

As many times as I have read this, it occurred to me only today that there is nothing in this passage that suggests that I am the one solely responsible for the transformation.  Whew, that takes a load off!  Of course, I do have to keep an open mind, elsewise it can’t be changed.  And the problem with keeping an open mind is that people keep wanting to put stuff in it that doesn’t necessarily coincide with my existing thoughts.

Damn!  I knew there was a catch!

“The connection between human beings cannot be severed; it can be forgotten.”  Brene Brown

I heard this the other day on a podcast and it took a while to process as it sent me to reading other Brene Brown material.  Contemplating all that it occurs to me that much can get in the way between two people – ideologies, experiences, distance, pride, fear, to name a few.  However, the connection still exists because we, as humans, will always have more in common than we have differences.  However, we come to see that only through vulnerability, through meaningful interaction, or as Brown says: “Live-tweeting your bikini wax is not vulnerability.”  One more:

“I think if you follow anyone home, whether they live in Houston or London, and you sit at their dinner table and talk to them about their mother who has cancer or their child who is struggling in school, and their fears about watching their lives go by, I think we’re all the same.”

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“This is the day the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it.”  Psalm 118:24

It is so easy to get tied up with yesterday and tomorrow, and in the process, let today slip from consciousness.  It seems almost natural to focus on yesterday’s regrets, tomorrow’s fears, or even better, yesterday’s accomplishments and tomorrow’s expected victories.  Of course, in doing so, I let today slip away to tomorrow.  The folly of that seems so obvious, yet….

 

 

Read this today from Joan Chittister – Uncommon Gratitude:

“Conflict confronts us with the test of integrity. It requires that we review constantly the arsenal with which we face our enemy.”

When she suggests that I “review constantly the arsenal,” I suspect she means more that I “review constantly the arsenal” to assess its fairness and appropriateness than she does that I “review constantly the arsenal” to make sure that it is sufficient to accomplish the total annihilation (preferably, with some humiliation) of my enemy.  Damn it!

After the funeral service we walked across the parking lot to the Memorial Gardens for interment of the ashes;

When that service ended, folks headed to the Parish Hall to do what one does there after a funeral;

I turned to follow the group, but then had the unexplained urge to linger;

Turning back, I noticed an old friend, head bent down, looking at the stone marker for his deceased wife.

I walked over, put my arm around his heaving shoulders, squeezed hard, and lingered there with him in silence.

As we walked back to the Parish Hall in silence, I recognized that moment would be indelibly etched in my memory, and contemplated how much in life is missed by ignoring the urge to linger, by not lingering long enough (apologies to Cohen) to recognize the light shining in through the cracks.

The great songs, the really great songs, no matter how many times I listen to them, seem each time like I am listening for the first time.  So it was with Jackson Browne’s “Doors and Walls:”

“Ever since the world’s existed
There’s one thing that is certain
There are those who build walls
And those who open doors
Ah but this my love I’m thinking you already knew”

My only thought to add to that is that it occurred to me today that Jesus was one who opened doors – which is, of course, what we should all strive to do – even when, particularly when, building walls seems the easier thing to do.  The wall separates me from the other, certainly, but just as certainly separates the other from me.

C. S. Lewis writes in Mere Christianity on right and wrong:

“People may sometimes be mistaken about them [right and wrong], just as people sometimes get their sums wrong; but they are not a matter of mere taste and opinion any more than the multiplication table.”

Hmm!  Yes, 3×3=9, and there is no “almost right” answer to that.  Yet it occurs to me that life, and the situations it throws out to us, are more nuanced than the multiplication tables.  Sometimes I am not always sure a 3 is a 3, or that a 9 is a 9.

In pondering this I am sent back to a poem I recently read.  While it seems to be applicable here, I am not sure I can explain why other than both the Lewis passage and the poem present a conundrum:

The Three Goals – David Budbill

“The first goal is to see the thing itself in and for itself, to see it simply and clearly for that it is.  No symbolism, please.

The second goal is to see each individual thing as unified, as one, whit all other ten thousand things.  IN this regard, a little wine helps a lot.

The third goal is to grasp the first and second goals, to see the universal and the particular, simultaneously.  Regarding this one, call me when you get it.”

Sometimes, I read something and it occurs to me that I need not bother trying to string thoughts and words together today, as someone has done it far better than I could ever hope to, done it so well it compels sharing.

Sometimes – Sheenagh Pugh

Sometimes things don’t go, after all, from bad to worse.  Some years, muscadel faces down the frost; green thrives; the crops don’t fail, sometimes a man aims high, and all goes well.

A people sometimes will step back from war; elect an honest man; decide they care enough, that they can’t leave some stranger poor.  Some men become what they were born for.

Sometimes our best efforts do not go amiss; sometimes we do as we meant to.  The sun will sometimes melt a field of sorrow that seemed hard frozen: may it happen for you.

In writing of the Paul’s ministry today, Oswald Chambers notes that the source of Paul’s ministry was not love for men, but love for Jesus Christ, or, if you will, love.

“If we are devoted to the cause of humanity, we shall soon be crushed and broken-hearted, for we shall often meet with more ingratitude from men than we would from a dog. But if your motive is love to God, no ingratitude can hinder us from serving our fellow men.”

I am reminded in this of a mission trip in Honduras years ago.  We worked hard all week to improve a single structure in a small town.  On the last day there, dog-tired and walking over a hill, I looked out and saw hundreds of similar structures needing similar work, and a feeling of hopelessness, a feeling that what I had done that week was insignificant, washed over me.  It occurs to me that this is what Paul, and Chambers, are trying to pass along, that there is danger in measuring success in human terms, by either a result or a response.  The efforts to improve the single structure in Honduras did not “fix” the others.  But that misses the point.  And the point (at least the point as to me) is really not even if the one structure was improved.  I will likely never see that structure again, never benefit physically from its improvement.  In our lives, the person we are moved to help may not appreciate the effort, and may not even be aware of our involvement.  Sometimes our well-intentioned efforts may “fail.”   But if love is our motive, if it is the source that fuels our action, then there is success no matter the result.

Reading mindlessly this morning, this translation of Rumi by Coleman Barks shook me awake and, at least temporarily, pulled me back into mindfulness:

The Guest House

This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.

A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.

Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they are a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

The dark thought, the shame, the malice.
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.

Be grateful for whatever comes.
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.