“And he said unto him, Son, thou art ever with me, and all that I have is thine.” Luke 15:31
Those words were meant by the father to comfort and reassure the elder son, to invite the elder son to the celebration, but likely had the opposite effect. I can see the elder son, after hearing them, stomping off in a snit and continuing to refuse to join the party for his returned brother. Yes (throat clearing) I could see somebody doing that.
From Webster’s, the definition of “worry:”
“an uneasy state of mind usually over the possibility of an anticipated misfortune or trouble”
From Baz Luhrman’s classic, Sunscreen:
“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.”
I like that definition, with the double dose of uncertainty – the possibility of an anticipated misfortune…. Still, that’s me over there in the corner chewing bubblegum until I get the answer to the algebra equation.
“Because you’re not what I would have you be, I blind myself to who, in truth, you are.” Madeline L’Engle
There they are again, those pesky expectations. It is, as L’Engle suggests, easy to write someone off as worthless because they don’t meet my personally created set of expectations as to how or what they should be. The scene that comes to mind here is standing at the base of a vending machine, hungry or thirsty and wanting something inside it, but having no money. (This image must be set in the days when vending machines did not take credit cards.) I reach in the change dispensary hoping to get lucky, and find no change there, but instead find a wadded up $100 bill. Still, I walk away hungry/thirsty, and or broke, because the machine doesn’t take $100 bills, so I just leave the bill where I found it.
“And the younger of them said to his father, Father, give me the portion of goods that falleth unto me. And he divided unto them his living.” Luke 15:12
You know how you have those experiences of seeing or hearing or reading something many times, yet realizing at some point you have missed the obvious content right there in front of you – well, I have those experiences. I had one today reading this passage again from the parable. I have always read the “And he divided unto THEM his living” as “And he divided unto Him [the younger son] his living.” In the NIV that sentence is even clearer: “So he divided his property between them.”
Here I have been laboring with this story for years thinking the younger son got his half, and the older son got nothing – no wonder the older son was pissed when the younger son returned and was greeted joyously. But the true reading seems to me to be that the father more or less retired, and split his “property,” his “living,” or his “substance” (depending on your translation) between them. Following this logic, then the older son could seemingly only be upset over the fact that he was left behind to deal with dad and take care of things, while the younger brother got to go “waste his substance with riotous living” and returned home to a party.
I don’t know if that changes my view of the parable dramatically, but it does occur to me in all this just how easy it is to develop opinions, and be pretty steadfast in them, without knowing the whole story. Perhaps that is why forgiveness and grace are so important.
“But I say to you that hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” Like 6:27
There it is again. Just when I think I may have made some strides toward being a better person I am reminded of this seemingly impossible goal. Anthony DeMello addresses this in The Way To Love and provides some insight. He suggests that when we sense that hate, that anger, that frustration at another, the first question to ask is “What does this irritation tell me about myself?” He suggests that maybe, just maybe, that the other persons “defects” annoy the hell out of me because I have suppressed, yet struggle with, the same ones. He suggests that perhaps, just perhaps, I am expecting another person with different life experiences, a person “programmed” in a different way, to act as I do/expect based on my programming. I am expecting an Apple product to function like a Microsoft product when I hit certain keys, a right-hander to throw the ball left-handed.
“Many people today, it seems, would rather be right than compassionate.” Karen Armstrong
As I read this quote I thought of a recent story I had seen in which someone had clipped together a series of videos of adults who had gotten so intent on getting a baseball in the stands that he/she muscled out or pushed aside a child in order to get the ball. I looked at those and shook my head, but it is easy to do the equivalent in life with my insistence on being right.
“And he arose and came to his father.” Luke 15:20
When I read this I think of the trepidation the young man, the prodigal, must have felt. He has gone off into a far country against his father’s wishes, lost all his money, taken a crappy job, nearly starved to death, and come to the realization that he would be better going back to his father as a hired servant than remain on the path he is on. Still, he has to transfer all that thought into action, to arise and take the first step, then the next, to start the long trek home – and you know that was a long walk home.
It occurs to me that at any point in life there are those “returns,” those “journeys home” I am thinking about making that require an awakening first (that point in the parable in which “he came to himself”), and then the trepidation-filled first step, then the next, on the journey back. Keep moving along.
“Create in me a pure heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me.” Psalm 51:10
Renewal, that seems to me to be the theme of Psalm 51. It is not just that we have screwed up once and seek forgiveness for that transgression – though that is part of it. There is also an understanding that once that sin is washed away, there are others behind it, or others to come. “For I know my transgressions and my sin is always before me.” v. 3
So, it is a prayer of renewal, yes, but also a plea to God to not give up on us despite the mess we have made of things. “Do not cast me from your presence or take your Holy Spirit from me.” v. 11-12 Indeed, if I may be so bold (and I am): “Restore to me the joy of your salvation.” V. 12. In that sense, it is kind of like shampoo — Rinse — Lather — Repeat.
“Enough is a feast.” Celia Mora
Webster’s defines enough as follows: “occurring in such quantity, quality, or scope as to fully meet demands, needs, or expectations.” Who am I to quibble with Webster’s, but speaking for myself, and I guess about myself, “enough” seems to me to be something less than what I demand or expect, unless of course I have “right-sized” my demands and expectations.
“Why, you don’t even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, ‘if it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.’ As it is, you boast and brag. All such boasting is evil. Anyone, then, who knows the good he ought to do and doesn’t do it, sins.” James 4:16-16
If looking for affirmation and encouragement thumbing through the Bible, this is not a great place to start. This is, however, a reality check, particularly for those (throat clearing) who tend to lose sight of the big picture. Every time I read this I am reminded of a mentor of mine who, every time I used to head out to undertake some important task, would tell me as I headed to the elevator: “Remember, there are millions and millions of people in China that don’t even know this problem, much less you, exists.” I saw that as levity at the time, and it was, but in retrospect, (I liked the guy) I like to think he was pointing me to these verses.
It occurs to me... 