It occurs to me…

Photo taken last year in the Phoenix area.

“Mature prayer always breaks into gratitude.”  Richard Rohr

That settles in well this morning.  It is easy for prayer to be based on needs and desires, most typically MY needs and desires.  But rationale thinking, when that occurs, recognizes that all in life is a gift.  That is worth saying again – rational thinking, when that occurs, recognizes that all in life is a gift.  Somehow, that sends me to the hymnal to a song that somehow seems appropriate for Christmas:

My life flows on in endless song;

Above earth’s lamentation,

I hear the sweet, tho’ far-off hymn

That hails a new creation;

Through all the tumult and the strife

I hear the music ringing;

It finds an echo in my soul—

How can I keep from singing?

 

Indeed!  How can I keep from singing, and why would I?

From Nothing Twice by Wislawa Szymborska:

”Nothing can ever happen twice.

In consequence, the sorry fact is

that we arrive here impoverished

and leave with no chance to practice.

Even if there is no one dumber,

if you’re the planet’s biggest dunce,

you can’t repeat the class in summer;

this course if offered only once.”

All the more reason to get it right the first time!

 

 

 

I read this today attributed to Rabbi Rafael, a nineteenth-century Hassidic teacher.  It still hits home:

“When I get to heaven, they’ll ask me, why didn’t you learn more Torah?  I will tell them I was not bright enough.  Then they’ll ask me, why didn’t you do more kind deeds for others?  I will tell them that I was physically weak.  Then they’ll ask me why didn’t you give more to charity?  And I’ll tell them that I didn’t have enough money for that.  And then they’ll ask me, if you were so stupid, weak, and poor, why were you so arrogant?  And for that I won’t have an answer.”

Amen!

Photo taken of the angel on the fence in our backyard.  (Though one doesn’t think of angels as being “on the fence.””

“Finding meaning does not require us to live differently; it requires us to see our lives differently.”  Rachel Remen

I read this today and – Tis the Season — immediately thought of Jimmy Stewart’s character George Bailey in Frank Capra’s It’s a Wonderful Life.  George Bailey had a meaningful life, a wonderful life, he just couldn’t see it until his angel, Clarence, showed up and helped him see his life differently.

I admit to having that vision problem.  It is, of course, a challenge to see our my life in the proper perspective – it is so personal!  But for what it is worth I am in good company.  There’s Jimmy Stewart, and let’s not forget Saul/Paul.  When Ananias went to visit a post-fell of the horse, blinded Paul (Acts 9:10-19) and blessed Saul/Paul, “something like scales” fell from Saul’s eyes and he could see again.”  Which brings us full circle back to Remen: “Finding meaning does not require us to live differently; it requires us to see our lives differently.”

“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy in your days of abundance.”  Kahlil Gibran

It is so easy to take good for granted.  To pray to get well, yet not in gratitude for wellness.  To pray for more, not in thanks for what I have.

Pray when you are up shit creek, sure, but also “in the fullness of your joy in your days of abundance.”  (Cue the “I coulda had a V-8” slap on the forehead.)  I knew I was forgetting something!

Related to the sermon at church today, I got to thinking about how strong the human inclination (at least my human inclination, but I generally feel comfortable speaking for at least most of humanity) is toward certainty and order (at least order as we/I see it).  I want things to be easy to label — good or bad, singular not multifarious, like me or not like me, for me or against me.  We want our roses to be beautiful, fragrant, yes, but also thornnless, please.  As it relates to the sermon, we want our God to be OUR God, a “this” God, not a “this” and “that” God.  Oh, and we want God to be on OUR side of any issue.  We want God to not only bless America, but to make it great again – as we define “bless” and “great,” of course.  (I am reminded of one of my favorite Anne Lamott quotes: “You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do.”)

It occurs to me that I want to order my world to my own liking, not just live in it and do my part to help it along.

Now that is going to take some doing!

In My Grandfather’s Blessings Rachel Remen relays the story of Jacob’s wrestling with an angel (or God, or a man, or Jesus – there is a good deal of Biblical debate on this).  Genesis 32:22-32  Recall that the wrestling occurred through the night, and in the morning, apparently at an impasse, Jacob’s opponent said “Let me go, for it is daybreak” to which Jacob replied “I will not let you go unless you bless me.”  Jacob got his blessing and the opponent was set free.

Remen’s underlying theme in her analysis on this is that “everything has its blessing.”  That is, of course, a tough pill to swallow.  Some uninvited, undesirable things happen in life that are, in varying degrees, bad, awful, terrible, atrocious, even unspeakable.  When those things happen my inclination, seemingly a natural one, is to want leave them as quickly as possible, to put as much distance between me and bad as I can.  Jacob took the other course.  Given the opportunity to let go, he did not, would not, and insisted on getting his blessing from his opponent this undesired wrestling match in which his hip was injured.  It is on this point that Remen delivers her punchline:

“How tempting to let the enemy go and flee.  To put the struggle behind you as quickly as possible and get on with your life.  Life might be easier then but far less genuine.  Perhaps the wisdom lies in engaging the life you have been given as fully and courageously as possible and not letting go until you find the unknown blessing that is in everything.”

That – “perhaps the wisdom lies in engaging the live you have been given as fully and courageously as possible and not letting go until you find the unknown blessing that is in everything” – that is going to take some thought, and might just be a wrestling match in and of itself.  That is, an “easier” life, even if “far less genuine” is awfully tempting.

“Long lay the world, in sin and error pining, ‘til He appeared, and the soul felt its worth.  A thrill of hope, the weary world rejoices, for yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.”

This is from another of my Christmas favorites, O Holy Night.  There is so much in the song, but one tiny jewel of a phrase – “’til He appeared, and the soul felt its worth” – always grabs me.  In that phrase I am reminded that my soul, every soul, has worth, and that that worth comes to be known, fully known, not simply by my/our own efforts, but through grace.  Yet another reminder (I need them constantly) that it ain’t all about me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xDmTqaQnlBU