From the poet, Wendell Berry:
“The past is our definition. We may strive, with good reason, to escape it, or what is bad in it, but we will escape it only by adding something better to it.”
Reading this, I am reminded of this admonition, which is attributed to Seneca:
“Don’t stumble over something behind you.”
Still, I like Berry’s approach. They way to deal with bad things from life’s past is to add some goodness to life today. It may or may not resolve the past issue, but it just might make today better. And if that sounds a bit like denial, then so be it. Delusion is like a habanero pepper in the kitchen. It can serve its purpose, if used sparingly.