In The Way To Love Anthony DeMello writes about that pesky “love your enemies” admonition. He posits four strategies:
Ask not “what is wrong with this person” but instead, ask “what does my irritation with this person tell me about me?”
Consider that my annoyance is from being forced to see something about my life I don’t care for.
Consider that my annoyance arises from the person not living up to my programed expectations. Others might not be annoyed, or not annoyed as much.
Consider that the person, given history, background, etc. can’t help behaving how he/she does.
Well, that just sucks all the fun out of hating my enemies, and out of annoyance in general!