Author: itoccurstocp

“…whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.”  Desiderata   Max Ehrmann

I like the juxtaposition of those two phrases – “in the noisy confusion of life, keep peace with your soul.”  First, there is the recognition of the “noisy confusion of life.”  Life is rarely played out in an orderly fashion, at least not the orderly fashion as I write (and rewrite, and rewrite…) the script.  Then, the “keep peace with your soul.”  A subtle distinction, but the word choice is “with” not “in,” recognizing, as I think on it, that peace is a relationship between the mind and the soul.  In that context I can keep peace with my soul even if there is not peace in my soul.  That is, a shitstorm may be swirling around me, but I can still have peace.

Now, the challenge is in the execution of that lofty goal!

“Let us be thankful for the fools.  But for them the rest of us could not succeed.”

Mark Twain

Typical of Twain, there is a great deal of insight in this humor.  Interesting how critical observations seem so much more palatable if they are conveyed disguised in humor!  The message of course assumes one is capable of effectively distinguishing between the fools and the non-fools.  If I am honest I have to profess the limits to my proficiency at that task.  Also, it recognizes that the grading is on a curve.  In a given setting it may not be that I am so good so much as the others are not.   All of which points to yet more reasons to embrace humility, to (tongue in cheek) strive to be the most humble person in the universe.

“Do not distress yourself with imaginings.”  Desiderata – Max Ehrmann

Of all the advice Ehrmann provides in the Desiderata, this is perhaps the one that gives me the most difficulty.  There is not the wiggle room in Baz Luhrmann’s Sunscreen –

“Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”

I chew a lot of gum.

“Silent gratitude isn’t very much use to anyone.”     Gertrude Stein

My first reaction on reading this quote was a simple “duh!”  But then, I thought more about it.  There is plenty of value to silent gratitude —  worlds of value in a smile, a hug, in silently taking someone’s hand.  I am reminded of the Keith Whitley song line – “You say it best when you say nothing at all.”  That said, a  well-placed “thank you” or other verbal expression of gratitude is always a good call.

Photo taken in the Phoenix area a few months back.

“Our minds are Velcro for negative information but Teflon for positive.”  Rick Hanson

Reading a book, Gratitude Works by Robert Emmons, I came across this quote attributed to neuroscientist Rick Hanson.  It seems there is a scientific basis for the ease with which I slip into and stick with the practice of negativity, what Emmons calls a “built in bias” toward negativity.  This is an example of what is generally known in psychology as a “knowledge to performance gap” and is exemplified in Paul’s familiar conflict as stated in Romans 7:15-19:

“For I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do….”

Nothing in this, of course, makes “normal” feel good, but it does identify a commonality in the inclination to accentuate the negative, and a place from which to start cultivate a more grateful disposition.

“…and remember what peace there may be in silence.”  Desiderata – Max Ehrmann

So easy to forget, “what peace there may be in silence.”  Often, silence makes me uncomfortable, and there seems to be this inherent need to fill it by saying or doing something, anything.  But it occurs to me that just as light seeps in through the cracks, that still small voice that can’t be heard in the cacophony of life seeps in through the silence – and I need that still small voice.

I am reading a book on gratitude by Robert Emmons – Gratitude Works.  One chapter, though 100 pages into the book, caught my eye, so I read it first: The Biggest Obstacle to Gratitude – and Its Remedy.  It seems odd to me that he would wait until five chapters in the book to share this, but then if I read the four chapters, it might make sense.  In any event, it turns out that the biggest obstacle to gratitude is entitlement (ugh!), and the remedy for it is humility (ugh x 2).  This paragraph from the book states it so well that I won’t try to improve on it:

“Gratitude is the recognition that live owes me nothing and all the good I have is a gift.  It is a response to all that has been given.  It is not a getting of what we may desire.  My eyes are a gift.  So is my wife, my clothes, my job, my every breath.  This is a major shift.  Recognizing that everything good in life is ultimately a gift is a fundamental truth of reality.  Humility makes that recognition possible.  The humble person says, ‘How can I not be filled with overflowing gratitude?”

Indeed, how can I not be filled with overflowing gratitude?  Well, somehow, I seem to find a way.  I’ll go back and start at the first chapter.

“If you compare yourself with others you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”   Sunscreen – Baz Luhman

That settles in – “for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.”  It highlights the dual risk of comparison, pride and guilt.

“Because I am/have _____ I am/must be superior to those who aren’t/don’t.”

“Why do I deserve to be ____ when that person is ____?”

It occurs to me that the resolution lies in gratefulness – being thankful for what I have, whatever I have.  It may be more than some, less than others, but it is what I have.